Author Topic: blue bear battle  (Read 3602 times)

Ian H

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blue bear battle
« on: May 26, 2013, 11:19:40 AM »
BBBBRRR The temp had dropped over night to a violently cold 70f I was freezing. I asked to go shopping. Too my joy I was let off the leash though still had to have a nurse with me.

On entering the men's coat section of the store I saw it. I had to have it. The sapphire blue woollen coat was just me.

Trying it out was a comedy routine in itself and it looked like an one armed man with a walking aid was wrestling with a dainty nurse and bright blue bear had intruded

Once it was on I wasn't going to take it off. I marched up to the checkout and pointed at the tag on the collar this time the struggle looked like a foursome; the one armed man the nurse the check out chick and a blue bear.

Out of the shop I  mentally snuggled down into my warm coat and enjoyed a short shopping trip.

Back at the hospital the nurse let me off at the automatic doors confident I would be safe she went to park the car.

Then it happened the automatic door felt hungry and my blue coat appealed to it. It began closing while gobbling up my coat. My coat was only draped over my left shoulder and the door dragged me along with it struggling to keep my feet on the floor.

Then it snapped shut my broken shoulder hard against it, my good arm holding my balance stick and flailing trying the break the beam.

I must've been there three minutes doing my strange ballet till I heard the cooks laughter.

She was about to break the beam when I had a flash of common sense. ''Stop get help. If they open I might go ass over tit and beak something. Get help.''

Just the my companion nurse having park the car and coming in through a far door came on the scene and she joined the cook, her hands on her hip, she roared laughing. ''You have been clowning all day but this is by far your best.''

Another nurse appeared and the battle of the door began. The companion nurse is about 7 inches shorter than I. She looks 105lbs. She had her shoulder under my right armpit and her arms around my 210 lb body it seemed we were being crushed by a shaggy blue bear who in turn was being masticated by an automatic door. The second nurse was ready to fight with the door for possession of my coat.

The cook was doubled up with laughter but managed to break the beam.

Free at last the sound of four people laughing roared through the hospital.

Ian




Cathrobin

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2013, 12:42:02 AM »
Well, it must have been a very funny scene, yet I felt bad for you...your prize coat ruined?  Also, I felt the panic as the door took over your near future.  Well written. Cathleen

Ian H

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2013, 09:10:42 AM »
Cathleen the coat wasn't damaged only my dignity was and I done have much of that. And of course the door hit my funny bone guess what it is still there.  :)

Ian

EverJack

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2013, 09:57:43 AM »
A funny story, mate, and well shown.   :)

Ed

Ian H

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2013, 10:12:58 AM »
Ed
thank you.

I just had a compliment one of the nurse chuckled all the was through and at then end asked for more.

ian

EverJack

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #5 on: May 28, 2013, 09:11:44 AM »
 :) ;)

Fat

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2013, 03:30:14 PM »
The doors at hospitals (where you might just expect people to be moving a little slower) should be set to move at a more leisurely pace.

I saw an old lady with a quad stick knocked backwards by a glass door at North Shore Private. She had skin off her leg and arm and the side of her face from the fall. There is no excuse for that to happen.

Ian H

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2013, 04:23:18 PM »
Don
Really hospitals are fitted out by the health for the healthy. It is extremely frustrating having to call the nurses to make your lunch coffee because you can't open the coffee sachets they supply or to open your breakfast.

Ian

Fat

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2013, 08:07:55 PM »
Exactly - and if you happen to be a heart patient they seem to think chewing is too strenuous.

Ian H

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2013, 08:14:46 PM »
been there done that

Fat

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2013, 11:51:21 AM »
Gotta say though - that the food in Mater hospitals (Catholic Health Care) are just wonderful. Even a little wine with dinner.

Ian H

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2013, 03:56:39 PM »
Quick transfer me there.

Ian

Fat

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2013, 06:32:01 PM »
I clicked my fingers, folded my arms, nodded and blinked, and wiggled my nose - did it work?

Ian H

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #13 on: May 29, 2013, 07:12:41 PM »
No it cursed me I got about half a cold can of baked beans and a banana, no wine just a cold milo

Ian

Fat

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Re: blue bear battle
« Reply #14 on: May 29, 2013, 11:02:34 PM »
I am sorry Ian - I try really really hard but it just never works.
Best wishes for breakfast.