Author Topic: Swords and Tomes Chap 2 pt 3  (Read 1544 times)

Jim

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Swords and Tomes Chap 2 pt 3
« on: March 28, 2013, 04:59:42 AM »
Scotty's eyes widened, his breath came in short bursts.  He moved away as the rejected interviewer slumped over his coffee.  Scotty closed the restaurant door behind him.  He paused and again looked to the heavens.  “What did I do to deserve two bizarre folks in the same night?”

Scotty shook his head, speaking to a cat curled in the doorway.  "What am I doing?  I need to find out some answers.”  He turned back into the restaurant. 

The server was already cleaning the vacant table.  “Thanks for coming back.  I thought you stiffed me for the bill.”

“What happened to the man who was with me?”  Scotty asked.

“He went out the door immediately after you did.  I was about to chase him when you came back in.”

“I think you’re mistaken.  He didn’t come out after me.  He would’ve run me over, and I didn’t see him.”  Scotty gave her a ten to cover the bill.  His face twisted in confusion. “Keep the change.”  He hesitated.  “Are you sure he’s not in the bathroom?”

“Thanks for the tip mister; I don’t get too many.  Numerous deadbeats come in just for coffee.  I know your friend isn’t in the john because it isn’t working.  The plumbing’s fouled and we can’t find a plumber.  You know how that is.”

Scotty quick-stepped to the restrooms and after knocking and not getting a response looked in, empty.  He pushed the swinging doors leading into the kitchen. 

A surprised cook in a multi-stained t-shirt wiping a stainless-steel counter paused.  “Can I help you?”

“Did a sick looking guy just walk through here?”  Scotty asked.

“Nope.”  The cook returned his attention to the counter.

Scotty went back into the main area.  He moved to the server’s side.  “Are you absolutely positive he went out that door?”  He pointed to the one entry into the place.

She scratched under her nose.  “Look mister, I’m not senile.  I don’t do hard drugs, and I know what I saw.  I saw a man in one of those old time suits run out the door right behind you.  End of statement!  Now, it’s time for us to close unless you want something to eat.”

Scotty turned on his heels and left.  Not ringing up the sale, the server stuffed the ten into her apron pocket.  She murmured to nobody.  "Another night for the book I’ll never write."

Outside, Scotty flinched as the cat, frightened by an unexpected wind that whirled bits of paper and dust, screeched and scurried between his legs.  Scotty closed his eyes and took a series of deep breaths.  His walk was a gulp of air short of a trot as he headed for the Hole.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2013, 05:11:08 AM by Jim »

EverJack

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Re: Swords and Tomes Chap 2 pt 3
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2013, 07:33:00 AM »
You showed Scotty's confusion well, Jim.  He knew that the strange man wasn't in the cafe, but like all people, he didn't want to believe the unbelievable.

Ed

Jim

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Re: Swords and Tomes Chap 2 pt 3
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2013, 10:50:56 PM »
Thanks Ed... there is the poblem with good fantasy writing.  I have to make it belieable enough for the reader to accept and yet different enough to make the reader inquisitive.  Yep still learning...   

Ian H

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Re: Swords and Tomes Chap 2 pt 3
« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2013, 09:08:50 AM »
Jim
Quite a good handling of a difficult problem in making the story realistic.

Ian

Cathrobin

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Re: Swords and Tomes Chap 2 pt 3
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2013, 12:54:50 PM »
Good job!  You heighten the mystery very well.  I loved this:  She scratched under her nose.    Does she serve food with that hand?! 
Cathleen