Author Topic: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2  (Read 3082 times)

Ian H

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The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« on: January 06, 2014, 06:18:25 PM »
Aramac was in the centre of nowhere and only the Spewahans knew what laid beyond. But this was the day Spewah would pass into History.

The Bullocks were fetlock deep in the creek when two troopers road up. “Hey you have you paid for that water,”

The Li'll lady looked up. “Tis the law of the outback water is free to everyone.”

The lead trooper rode towards her menacingly “Not any more. It belongs to the Queen. Why do you think the colony is called Queensland. The water belongs to the Queen and we have orders to charge native colonials for it.”

The Li'll Lady stood up and cracked her whip over his head. “Sess you.”

The second trooper screamed out. “Look out she is the Li'll lady Bullocky.”

The lead trooper dropped his reigns and covered his groin.

The Li'll lady laughed as they backed of. Then it hit her. She was suppose to keep as low a profile as possible.

They could all get hung for what they were doing.

Worry toned her face as she studied the eastern horizon. The dust cloud she expected began to race towards her. There was no need to move yet. It had been agreed for security reasons she would only advance into the village as the dust cloud stopped progressing for three minutes and then started again.

She studied the dry dust plain. Then it was time to go.

She turned the team towards the town and as if out for a lazy day in the sun arriving at the Cobb & CO stage depot as the daily express pulled in.

She could see the boss cocky through the window in the door. The stage rocked as the Royal Mail was taken off the the Boss Cocky calmly stepped out and asked for help to lift his trunks from the stage to the bullock cart.

Four men sweated under the weight of the sea trunks but managed to move the trunks to the wagon.

The Boss Cockey then mounted the board seat beside the Li'll lady. He grimaced. “Not as soft as the seats in the coach. And the new air glide suspension on Cobb & Co stage coach is a miracle.”

The Li'll lady looked at him. “What the hell is air glide suspension?”

“Fancy words for a work of genius. You know how the axles are fastened to the chassis of all carts and coaches.”

The Li'll Lady nodded. “The only way to do it.”

The Boss Cockey shook his head and laughed. “Not any more. Some genius in Melbourne came up with something the called springs, Though they look nothing like springs. They absorbs the dumps before they enter the coach giving a smooth ride. But not only that but you know how bumps can throw your cart all over the road and the faster you go the more dangerous bumps become, Well because the bumps are absorbed Cobb & CO have the fastest coachs in the world.”

The Li”ll lady nodded. “The quicker the trip, the less danger.”

« Last Edit: January 06, 2014, 06:58:01 PM by Ian H »

Fat

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2014, 12:21:16 AM »
The quicker the trip, the less danger.

That is a road safety message which will not be appreciated in this day and age but was very relevant back when when bush-rangers were around.

Ian H

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2014, 06:00:01 AM »
Don
Also when carrying illicit items.. Maybe you should have googled boss cocky http://www.thefreedictionary.com/boss+cocky

Ian

Jim

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2014, 06:49:06 AM »
Interesting showing mate... I guess I am learning.  I wonder how I would have showed this scene differently.  I will say my verb vocabulary is improving faster than my adverb  one.

I have a question.  How can one ride menacingly?    "rode towards her menacingly"  I might have said "His eyes clenched with anger and vengeance as he spurred his horse forward."     

Ian H

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2014, 12:20:43 PM »
Jim
I used menancinly to show. It I hope will stimulate the reader into imagining something. You explanation takes imagination away from the reader.

Ian

EverJack

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2014, 01:00:18 PM »
I'm wondering what is in the sea trunks......  sapphires and rubies....... or something else.

Ed


Ian H

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2014, 01:39:28 PM »
Ed
Something that would get the executed on the spot without trial if they were caught.

Ian

Jim

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2014, 03:23:14 AM »
Ian - i find myself asking the question to my self showing or telling?   I believe that if you use an adverb, that is an indication that the writer has used an ineffective verb.  I just couldn't picture riding  menacingly.  If menacingly describe how he is riding.  But it was the rider's look that was menacing not how he was riding.  My opinion. 

Ian H

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2014, 06:36:15 AM »
Jim

I prefer think of it as a soft verb rather than ineffective. Variations in pace can't be explained they can be only learnt from experience I agree your sentences are harder more active but it doesn't achieve what I want.

Ian

Jim

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2014, 12:19:30 PM »
I can live with that explanation.  ineffective might have been a poor choice of words.  I am still the humble student.  I'm just learning the questions to ask!

Fat

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2014, 11:13:45 PM »
A protester may think a police horse is ridden menacingly.

Ian H

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #11 on: January 09, 2014, 08:56:36 AM »
Don
If you have ever been breasted by a stinking police horse ridden by an arrogant cop. Not because you ae a demonstrator but because you were a commo reporter reporting the facts not the opinion of others. You might think it highly  menacing.

Ian

Fat

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2014, 09:15:33 AM »
I thought that was the way you meant it.

I haven't been in that situation but certainly remember the TV showing it happening. There was a description of the technique during the police display one Royal Easter Show (back in the early 70s) if I remember rightly.

Ian H

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #13 on: January 09, 2014, 09:30:03 AM »
Don if you were a reporter in the 70s you weren't doing your job. If you hadn't been breasted.

Ian

Jim

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Re: The li'll Lady Bullocky whips the new era 2
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2014, 02:00:32 AM »
Ian, I was knocked aside by a New York mounted policeman in the early 60s.  I would imagine he still has my bite marks in his calf.  He struck at me with his baton.  He aimed for my head and got my back.  Another incident for my memoir.  Those were some wild days.